LETTING GO..
There are things that are a positive influence or experience in our lives and these are good things to keep and to treasure, and we must ‘celebrate’ them. However, there are other things that are like a dark shadow that haunts us in various degrees, and at various times. For example: grieving a loss, hurt by the words or actions of someone significant, guilt that taunts us, etc.
“That is why it is so important to let certain things go. To release them, complete the circle. Not out of pride, inability or arrogance, but simply because whatever it is, it no longer fits into your life.
Close the door, change the record, clean the house, get rid of the dust, say “no more” to the accuser! (From Paulo Coelho’s book “The Zahir”)
Stop being who you were and become who you are!”
I read this phrase a long time ago “we hurt, we hate, we heal”
No human being can say that they have never been hurt.. and the range is wide; from small issues to life-damaging events. From a singular incident to months/years of torment.
What we must not, cannot, do is allow whatever happened to tarnish the rest of our existence. We may agree with this statement, but immediately the question is “great, but how do we deal with it?”
May I be so bold as to suggest a few steps-
Stop denying your pain, perhaps learn from the Psalmist who asked “Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me?” and he continues to say “put your hope in God” (Psalm 42 & 43)
Many psychological issues stem from unresolved hurt, grief and emotional pain.
Have the courage to name the incidents/relationships/events, etc. that have wounded you. Not in a negative destructive way but to enter a dialogue with it; “What happened? Who did it involve? How old was I? How has it affected me? Who did I tell and what was their response?
Don’t feel you have to do this on your own, you can find a trusted person, a counsellor/psychologist etc. to walk this journey with you.
Don’t minimize the impact of what happened, acknowledge it but with the purpose of dealing with it so that you can be freed from the effect it has had on your life.
The painful things in our life can have positive results if we handle them correctly. Somewhere I read this phrase “we hurt, we hate, we heal” Basically, as I understand it, we need to be realistic about the pain it has caused us- physical, emotional and even spiritual (we can, and probably do, question why God has allowed it to happen to us). However, because our Creator has given us the gift of freedom of choice, and we often suffer from our poor choices or the actions of others. The secret is not to allow the hurt/guilt etc. to lie in our memory, or subconscious, to torment us.
It is a journey of letting go in a positive and healthy way.
